Five Traps to Avoid During Large Group Time

Being a small group leader in a children’s ministry is a high calling.  Every minute you spend with your kids is vital.  You have so little time with kids that you need to maximize each minute.  Most small group leaders are very aware of that fact, but some fail to realize that large group time is also ministry time for them.  The kids in their group are watching them, taking cues from them.  Kids are learning from their leaders what it means to worship God and to value what is being taught in a corporate setting.

If you want to be an effective small group leader, don’t fall into these traps.  If you do, you’ll miss out on valuable teaching time you may not be aware you even have.

Trap 1: Hang out in the workroom to plan your lesson during large group time.

I know, I know.  Your week was crazy and you didn’t have a chance to read through your plans before you arrived so you chose to plan your lesson during large group time since your kids were “entertained” anyway.

While I empathize with you, I challenge you to adjust your schedule so you’re ready to lead your group before large group starts.  When you’re not with your kids during large group time, you could be communicating a negative message to your kids that you don’t intend to communicate. They might conclude that what happens during large group time isn’t important because it’s not important enough for you to be there.  Being prepared for small group is crucial, but it’s also important to be in large group so your kids see you valuing worship and the Word.

If you fall into this trap, plan ahead so you are ready to lead your group before you arrive on Sunday.

Trap 2: Chat with those around you during the Bible story.

You’ve heard the story before and already know how you’re going to tie it into your small group lesson.  You’ve been needing to connect with another small group leader in the room about a kid in your group so you take this opportunity to scoot back a few feet and ask the other small group leader a question.

Please don’t.  When leaders talk with others during the Bible story, they become a distraction to kids.  They model inattentiveness and devalue what’s being taught.  If you’re tempted to talk with others during large group time, remember that you’re making it difficult for kids to focus and you’re demonstrating that what’s being done or taught on stage isn’t very important.

Trap 3: Don’t sing or move during the worship time.

Your voice is horrible and you feel awkward moving around in church.  You’d rather just stand still with your hands to your side and listen.  After all, the worship time is really for the kids.  You worship in the adult worship service.

If this sounds like you, I beg you to engage.  Push yourself outside your comfort zone.  Kids are looking to you for how to worship.  They don’t know how to praise God through singing unless someone shows them.  If they look around the room and see the adults disengaged, they’ll get the message that it’s not cool to engage.  The older kids are especially self-conscious.  They don’t want to do anything that might sacrifice their social standing.  If small group leaders don’t actively participate in worship, the older kids won’t either.  They are following our lead.  Let’s lead them into Jesus’s presence and demonstrate what it looks like to have our hearts, voices and bodies focused on communicating to God how awesome He is.

Trap 4: Stand in the back of the room during large group time.

You’re not young anymore.  Sitting on the floor is difficult.  Besides, you’re sure your kids don’t think you’re very cool (you’re older than their mom!). You’re certain your kids wouldn’t want to sit by you anyway.

If the back of the room calls your name every week, tell it to shut up and go sit with your kids.  If sitting on the floor is difficult, take a chair, sit on the outside edge of the room and gather your group around you.

Don’t believe the lie that you’re too old, too uncool, too ugly, or too grey for kids.  Kids will love back anyone who loves them.  Kids LOVE to be loved by adults of all ages and they want to know you want to be with them.  Show them you love them enough to sit with them.  They’ll love you back.  As an added bonus, they’ll focus better in large group if you’re sitting with them.

Trap 5: Ignore kids in large group time who are yapping it up.

You hear them whispering.  You see them giggling.  You know they are distracting everyone around them, but they aren’t your kids.  They aren’t your responsibility.  Since you don’t know them, you fear they might be mad at you if you redirect their attention so you sit frustrated wondering why their leader won’t ask them to be quiet.

Avoid the notion that you are only responsible for the kids in your group.  We’re all in this together.  Our group goal is to help all kids (whether they’re in your group or someone else’s group) engage in worship and focus on the truth that is presented.  It’s better for everyone if we all assume responsibility for all kids and lovingly guide those who need it.  Be bold.  Reach out your hand.  Touch the distracting kids’ shoulders, smile at them and redirect their attention to the stage.  In nearly every instance, it’s easy to redirect kids.  You can sit right behind them, sit between them, gently touch their back, put your finger on your lips to ask them to be quiet.  Just do it.  Everyone will be glad you did, including the kids who are being distracting.

Your thoughts? Have you noticed other traps that are easy to fall into? How can leaders be role models for kids and “teach” kids even when they aren’t teaching? We’d love to hear what you think.