graphic by meneldur
“Those who can, do; those who can’t, teach.”
Every college undergrad has either heard or said this at least once. Sadly, this statement gives teachers a bad name. The truth is that those who “can” are better teachers and those who “can’t” are ineffective teachers.
After my father-in-law retired from a long career in mechanical engineering, he joined the University of Kansas engineering faculty as an adjunct lecturer. He loved teaching soon-to-be engineers and they loved having him as their instructor because he brought practical insights into the classroom. He spoke from experience. He knew what really worked and what sounded good in theory but didn’t work practically. He could tell them how things were in the real world and how they could use the knowledge they were learning in their future jobs. His ability to “do” gave him credibility with his students and prepared them well for their future.
The same is true for parents and children’s ministry leaders.
- It’s one thing to tell your kids about God and to teach them facts about the Bible. It’s an entirely different thing to teach them the practical stuff about the life of faith: how to pray, how to trust God no matter what, how to make wise choices and how to live a morally upright life.
- It’s one thing to tell kids to be patient; it’s an entirely different thing to live a life of patience in front of them so they learn to be patient by following your lead.
- It’s one thing to proclaim, “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.”
- It’s an entirely different thing to monitor your own words so you don’t say negative things about others.
- It’s one thing to tell your kids they need to trust God when their lives seem uncertain; it’s an entirely different thing to model for them that you trust God even when your life is uncertain.
The only way we have any hope of teaching children how to live a life of faith in Christ is to teach by doing.
This month’s Parent’s Link Live is about the importance of knowing God personally instead of just knowing about God. It’s about taking time to connect with God on a personal level before you try to teach kids about God. I encourage you to take a few minutes to listen to this short talk. Then, commit to being the best teacher you can be to the kids God’s given you. Your kids, whether they live in your home or are in your small group or class at church, will thank you!
To listen to Make it Personal, click here. You can either download it as an MP3 file or listen online.
This month I’m starting something new on Leading Kids Today. Each month I’ll include a five- to ten-minute audio file, called Parent Link Live, addressing relevant issues in the home. Even though these talks are designed to help parents fine-tune their parenting skills, they also have value for children’s leaders in other contexts.
This month’s talk, by Carey Nieuwhof, senior pastor of Connexus Community Church in Ontario, is about fighting for the heart of your child. Whether you are a parent or a children’s leader, I encourage you to take a few minutes to hear what Carey has to say. Your ability to shape a child’s heart depends on your ability to live out this message.
To download this month’s Parent Link Live file, click here.
photos by
photo by cs1uk
Last Sunday in Discovery Unlimited, our 4th and 5th graders got to make individual servings of ice cream to illustrate the virtue of determination. If you ask any 4th or 5th grader who was at our church last Sunday, they’ll tell you it takes a long time to shake up a baggy of milk and sugar encased in a larger baggy filled with ice and rock salt. It also takes determination to continue shaking the baggies because your hands can get really cold.
For those kids who persisted and gutted out the cold, they ended up with some really great ice cream and left church with a smile on their faces. They also experienced first hand how important it is to keep doing what you should do so you don’t miss something good.
While the kids had a great time, the leaders, on the other hand, were left with a big mess. Our workroom looked like kids had poured pitchers of water and rock salt all over the counter and floor. As I helped some of the leaders clean up, I learned a couple things about this activity:
1. It was very messy. (DUH! I don’t know why I didn’t process that prior to Sunday.)
2. The yummy mixture doesn’t hardens well unless you have enough rock salt in the outer bag.
Even more importantly, though, I was reminded again that we have awesome children’s leaders in our church! They get children’s ministry! They understand that sometimes the best way to help kids remember a point is to allow them to make a mess. They know that when church is fun and kids are engaged, the kids are much more likely to remember the point of the lesson. They recognize that the ease of a lesson doesn’t necessarily reflect the effectiveness of the lesson. They are determined to do what needs to be done to help kids grasp the truths of Scripture. They are willing to keep doing what they should do so the kids in their group don’t miss something good.
Whether you’re a parent or a children’s leader, the next time you sit down to plan a lesson or activity for kids, I encourage you to be open to doing things that require a bit of prep, a bit of courage and a bit of clean-up. Don’t reject ideas initially because they seem too complicated. Often times, what makes the activity complicated is what also makes it appealing and memorable to kids. Engage your kids, build some memories, plant some seeds, teach some truth…
…and have fun in the process!
photo by madhatrk
Recipe for Individual Servings of Ice Cream
Put these ingredients in a pint-size Ziploc® bag and zip it shut:
- 1 tablespoon sugar
- ½ cup half-n-half or whole milk
- ¼ teaspoon vanilla
Put 1 cup ice and ¼ cup rock salt in a quart-size Ziploc® bag.
Place the ingredient baggy into the ice baggy and zip the ice bag.
Shake until the yummy mixture gets firm. If it’s not getting firm, add more ice and rock salt and keep shaking.
NOTE: Have some towels nearby to wipe up any messes.
ENJOY!
DUH!!! We all know that regular exercise strengthens our muscles. We also know if we stop exercising, our muscles atrophy.
Did you know the same is true for spiritual exercise? If we engage in consistent spiritual training, in time, we’ll detect real spiritual growth. However, if we fail to get regular spiritual exercise, our faith will atrophy. Sadly, just like it’s easy to become physically lazy, it’s also easy to become spiritually lazy. We want to be spiritually fit but we often don’t take the effort to get fit. We want to be able to live without worry, but we can’t. We wish our first reaction to every challenge in life would be to pray, but it’s not. We know we should have a better attitude about our job or our kids or our spouse, but we don’t.
Sometimes, our thoughts, attitudes and actions aren’t reflective of God. If we’re honest with ourselves, we have to admit that we are not always spiritually fit.
From time to time I come to the realization that I’m out of shape spiritually. I feel “fat.” My muscles feel “mushy.” When challenges come my way, I realize I’m not at the top of my game. I doubt. I complain. I forget to pray. I say things I shouldn’t say. I hate it when I get like that!
When I finally realize what’s going on (sometimes I’m a little slow to catch on), I recognize that I’m spiritually unfit because I’ve become lazy. I’ve stopped exercising. I’ve lost the ability to keep God’s perspective on my circumstances because I’ve become irregular in my training program.
The apostle Paul addresses this very thing in his first letter to Timothy, a young man he was mentoring.
Spend your time and energy in training yourself for spiritual fitness. Physical exercise has some value, but spiritual exercise is much more important, for it promises a reward in both this life and the next. (I Timothy 4:7b-8)
When I finally recognize that I’ve digressed in my spiritual health, the solution I need to embrace is regular spiritual exercise. I need to get back into a spiritual training program and practice some spiritual disciplines. For me, that typically means I need to reengage in a daily time of prayer and Bible reading. I need to journal my thoughts about what I’m reading and what God is teaching me. I need to write out my prayers. I need to meditate on verses that help me get God’s perspective on my circumstances.
Your list of disciplines may be different from mine. Maybe you’ve gotten so busy in life that you don’t have time to think clearly about anything. Making time for solitude so you can reflect on God more could make a difference. Maybe you’ve slipped into patterns of indulgence and realize you’re always thinking about the next thing you want to buy. Perhaps it’s time to exercise frugality. For more information about spiritual disciplines, check out the water’s edge.
One of the great things about being spiritually fit is that it not only benefits us, but it also benefits others. As leaders of children, if we want to make a difference in the lives of the kids we serve, we need to take our spiritual health seriously. We need to exercise regularly. Paul goes on to tell Timothy,
We work hard and suffer much in order that people will believe the truth, for our hope is in the living God, who is the Savior of all people, and particularly of those who believe… Give your complete attention to these matters [staying spiritually fit and using your spiritual gifts]. Throw yourself into your tasks so that everyone will see your progress. Keep a close watch on yourself and on your teaching. Stay true to what is right, and God will save you and those who hear you. ( I Timothy 4:10, 15-16)
As summer rolls into fall, I encourage you to pause for a few moments to assess your spiritual health. Don’t let the business of the new year, the shortness of the days and the change in temperature chip away at your spiritual health. Regular exercise really will make a difference – in your life and in the lives of the kids you serve! Won’t you join me in getting into shape this fall?
“…whoever is kind to the needy honors God.”
Proverbs 14:31b
In less than two weeks, our church will start our Operation Christmas Child project. I love it that our church participates in this project because it’s an excellent way for everyone – from preschoolers to Sr. citizens – to get involved in making the difference in a child’s life. It’s a way for all of us to be generous, even if we don’t have a lot of resources ourselves.
What is Operation Christmas Child?
It’s a program that provides Christmas gifts for millions of poverty-stricken children around the world.
How does it work?
People like you and me get a shoebox and fill it with gifts for a boy or girl. We turn in the shoebox, along with $7 for shipping, at a designated drop-off location and from there, the box is processed and sent to a needy child through Samaritan’s Purse.
Who should participate?
Operation Christmas Child is for everyone – young and old; single and married! I strongly encourage parents to make shoeboxes with their kids. It’s an excellent way to teach your children to be generous and to provide them with an opportunity to experience putting someone else’s needs above their own wishes.
How can I get involved?
If you attend the Lawrence Free Methodist Church, we’ll have information in our lobby starting Sunday, October 26. Pick up the instructions, get a shoebox, fill it with gifts and bring it (and $7 for shipping) back to our church no later than Sunday, November 16.
If you don’t attend LFMC, you can find packing instructions and the box drop-off location closest to your home on the Operation Christmas Child Web site.
What if money is tight?
The economic downturn of 2008 has caused most of us to think more seriously about our finances and reevaluate how we manage our money. Many families have experienced a layoff in the past 12 months and are struggling to make ends meet. Even if your family hasn’t experienced a layoff, we’ve all been affected by inflation, which is the highest it’s been since 1991.
When money is tight, it’s not only necessary to cut back spending on nonessential items, but it’s also natural to decline opportunities to participate in charitable giving, not because we don’t want to be generous, but because we don’t feel we can afford to be.
If you’re resourceful, it’s not costly to make a box for a child. You may even have new items, such as pens, crayons, marker and pads of paper in your home that you could include in the box. Shop the sales. Between now and mid-November, if you give up one restaurant meal, you’re well on your way to funding the cost of a box. That’s a small sacrifice for providing a child with the only gift she will get all year and a chance to hear about God’s love for her.
If you’re a parent, involve your children in figuring out how to fund the gifts in the box. You could encourage your kids to each come up with one way they could earn a little money to contribute to the box. They may not be able to generate more income, but they would probably be willing to give up something that you’ve been buying for them and put the cost of that item toward the box. The cost of a fastfood meal for a family of four would easily cover the cost of items in the shoebox.
Won’t you consider being a part of Operation Christmas Child this year?
Rebekah, Katie and Tim, August 1992
A few weeks ago, my husband and I took our oldest daughter to New York to start graduate school. The following day, our middle daughter drove herself to Illinois to begin her senior year of college.
It seems like just a few years ago we were dropping our girls off at grade school. When our kids were little all the 40- and 50-year-olds we knew would tell us to cherish the time we had with our kids because in the blink of an eye, they would be gone.
We’ve blinked our eyes and now both our daughters are gone and our son will most likely be gone in the next year or two. The past 23 years have flown by just like the empty-nesters told us they would. Now, I’m the soon-to-be empty-nester who wants to proclaim loudly to every parent of young children…
- Cherish your kids while they are young.
- Take advantage of every moment you have to teach your kids what really matters in life.
- Model for your kids what it means to love and be loved and to know God and be known by Him.
- You will influence your children more than anyone else.
- What happens at home is more important than what happens anywhere else. It’s more important than what happens at school, on the playground, at soccer practice and at church.
- God has appointed you to be the primary influence and spiritual leader in your kids’ lives. At times, that can seem like a daunting task but God has given you His word, His Spirit and other people to help you.
For those of you who attend the Lawrence Free Methodist Church, our children’s ministry wants to come alongside you and partner with you for the faith of your children. When a church and parents work together to help kids find and follow Jesus, their effectiveness greatly increases.
I’ve decided to start including a weekly post for parents on this blog as one way for our church to partner with parents for the faith of your kids. It’s my prayer that these posts will encourage you and give you practical tips so you can leverage the time you have with your kids now for years to come.
Aside from being focused on helping kids find and follow Jesus, the backbone of any children’s ministry is its consistent, committed leaders. When leaders aren’t consistent and when they aren’t committed for the long haul, the program loses its effectiveness.
At the Lawrence Free Methodist Church, we are blessed to have so many people who have made the commitment to serve kids week in and week out! Some of our leaders have been volunteering for over 20 years and know they are exactly where God want them, serving kids for Him. Some of our leaders have just started serving kids and love it! I bet 20 years from now many of these newer leaders will still be serving kids.
I am so grateful for each person who works with children in our church! Because of them, kids lives are being changed. It’s not always easy to work with kids. Some days are amazingly fun and rewarding; other days are challenging and discouraging, but the result is SO worth it.
One of my favorite verses is I Corinthians 15:58: Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.
This past Sunday, we showed a video in our church to highlight how committed, consistent leaders can impact the life of a child. This story is about one of the kids in our ministry, but he is just one of millions in the world! If you are a children’s ministry leader, be encouraged! Let this video remind you that your labor in the Lord is not in vain. May God bless you as you sacrificially give of yourself to share Christ with kids.
Being a small group leader in a children’s ministry is a high calling. Every minute you spend with your kids is vital. You have so little time with kids that you need to maximize each minute. Most small group leaders are very aware of that fact, but some fail to realize that large group time is also ministry time for them. The kids in their group are watching them, taking cues from them. Kids are learning from their leaders what it means to worship God and to value what is being taught in a corporate setting.
If you want to be an effective small group leader, don’t fall into these traps. If you do, you’ll miss out on valuable teaching time you may not be aware you even have.
Trap 1: Hang out in the workroom to plan your lesson during large group time.
I know, I know. Your week was crazy and you didn’t have a chance to read through your plans before you arrived so you chose to plan your lesson during large group time since your kids were “entertained” anyway.
While I empathize with you, I challenge you to adjust your schedule so you’re ready to lead your group before large group starts. When you’re not with your kids during large group time, you could be communicating a negative message to your kids that you don’t intend to communicate. They might conclude that what happens during large group time isn’t important because it’s not important enough for you to be there. Being prepared for small group is crucial, but it’s also important to be in large group so your kids see you valuing worship and the Word.
If you fall into this trap, plan ahead so you are ready to lead your group before you arrive on Sunday.
Trap 2: Chat with those around you during the Bible story.
You’ve heard the story before and already know how you’re going to tie it into your small group lesson. You’ve been needing to connect with another small group leader in the room about a kid in your group so you take this opportunity to scoot back a few feet and ask the other small group leader a question.
Please don’t. When leaders talk with others during the Bible story, they become a distraction to kids. They model inattentiveness and devalue what’s being taught. If you’re tempted to talk with others during large group time, remember that you’re making it difficult for kids to focus and you’re demonstrating that what’s being done or taught on stage isn’t very important.
Trap 3: Don’t sing or move during the worship time.
Your voice is horrible and you feel awkward moving around in church. You’d rather just stand still with your hands to your side and listen. After all, the worship time is really for the kids. You worship in the adult worship service.
If this sounds like you, I beg you to engage. Push yourself outside your comfort zone. Kids are looking to you for how to worship. They don’t know how to praise God through singing unless someone shows them. If they look around the room and see the adults disengaged, they’ll get the message that it’s not cool to engage. The older kids are especially self-conscious. They don’t want to do anything that might sacrifice their social standing. If small group leaders don’t actively participate in worship, the older kids won’t either. They are following our lead. Let’s lead them into Jesus’s presence and demonstrate what it looks like to have our hearts, voices and bodies focused on communicating to God how awesome He is.
Trap 4: Stand in the back of the room during large group time.
You’re not young anymore. Sitting on the floor is difficult. Besides, you’re sure your kids don’t think you’re very cool (you’re older than their mom!). You’re certain your kids wouldn’t want to sit by you anyway.
If the back of the room calls your name every week, tell it to shut up and go sit with your kids. If sitting on the floor is difficult, take a chair, sit on the outside edge of the room and gather your group around you.
Don’t believe the lie that you’re too old, too uncool, too ugly, or too grey for kids. Kids will love back anyone who loves them. Kids LOVE to be loved by adults of all ages and they want to know you want to be with them. Show them you love them enough to sit with them. They’ll love you back. As an added bonus, they’ll focus better in large group if you’re sitting with them.
Trap 5: Ignore kids in large group time who are yapping it up.
You hear them whispering. You see them giggling. You know they are distracting everyone around them, but they aren’t your kids. They aren’t your responsibility. Since you don’t know them, you fear they might be mad at you if you redirect their attention so you sit frustrated wondering why their leader won’t ask them to be quiet.
Avoid the notion that you are only responsible for the kids in your group. We’re all in this together. Our group goal is to help all kids (whether they’re in your group or someone else’s group) engage in worship and focus on the truth that is presented. It’s better for everyone if we all assume responsibility for all kids and lovingly guide those who need it. Be bold. Reach out your hand. Touch the distracting kids’ shoulders, smile at them and redirect their attention to the stage. In nearly every instance, it’s easy to redirect kids. You can sit right behind them, sit between them, gently touch their back, put your finger on your lips to ask them to be quiet. Just do it. Everyone will be glad you did, including the kids who are being distracting.
Your thoughts? Have you noticed other traps that are easy to fall into? How can leaders be role models for kids and “teach” kids even when they aren’t teaching? We’d love to hear what you think.
I couldn’t wait until next week to write again because I wanted to celebrate with you some things that happened last Sunday in our ministry. God is at work and it’s exciting!!
Last Sunday was fall kick-off Sunday at our church. It’s always a great day with a big party on the church lawn after our third worship service, complete with bison burgers, sno-cones, many inflatables, carnival games for younger kids, and a concert by our praise band.
It’s a big day in the life of our children’s ministry for several reasons.
- We offer our children’s program at both our 2nd and 3rd worship services instead of just our 2nd to make the day flow more smoothly for families and their visitors. It’s a lot of work but always fun to see how God fills the 3rd service.
- We have a lot of kids who visit our church that day.
- It’s a great day to hang out with kids and their parents.
- It’s an opportunity for some of our older grade school kids to get a chance to serve.
The day was perfect! The weather was gorgeous and families had a great time! Things wrapped up at about 3:00 and those of us who did the final cleaning were done in record time. After everyone else left, I hung out in the church parking lot waiting for Action Inflatables to come pick up their inflatables. As I waited, I was able to think back over the day and was overwhelmed with gratitude. I am so blessed to be able to serve God with such amazing, loving, talented people who are so committed to making our church a place where people can experience the love of God first hand!
I want to share a few of my “yea Gods” with you so you can celebrate with me:
-
We have incredible leaders in our Sunday morning Discovery Unlimited and Waumba Land programs! Sunday was the busiest day we’ve had since Easter and it went off without a hitch. Every time I was in Discovery Zone, things were running so smoothly! The registration area was full of friendly greeters, kids were actively engaged in worship, the story was compelling, the media team did their job seamlessly, and the small group leaders were ready to lead and welcome many kids. Our early childhood area was well-staffed and kids and parents were left with a loving impression of their Heavenly Father.
I asked a few extra people in our church to help out on Sunday because we anticipated having more kids. When I e-mailed one of them to see how her day went, this was her reply:
“I loved it! What a great children’s ministry that you have! Awesome! Don’t be afraid to call me again!”
To all of you who have worked hard to make our children’s ministry so great, THANK YOU!!! YOU ROCK!
-
We had so many visitors! I met two of them at the end of the kick-off as they were attempting to bursting huge water balloons above my head. They told me it was their first time to come to our church. They’re in the process of checking out churches and had a great time on Sunday. I’m thrilled that we had a team of loving, committed adults to provide them with an engaging program and relevant content. I pray they come back soon.
- Our kids did a fantastic job helping! I invited some older grade school kids to help out with our younger kids during our 3rd service. Wow! They were off-the-charts helpful! On Monday I received this e-mail message from one of the small group leaders:
Just wanted to share a few tidbits from Sunday.
Camden is AWESOME with 1st and 2nd graders. Very helpful during both large group activities. Jumped in, did what needed to be done, kept on task. During third service he was a one-on-one helper. He was SO considerate of his duties as a special needs helper that when he needed to sing on stage as a part of our praise team, he asked if I would sit with the boy he was helping.
Elizabeth (another 6th grader) came in to help me during third service. She was also awesome. Huge help. warmed my heart since she’s the one who said she was going to come back and help me in with our program some day. Jumped right in to help. Awesome with the 2nd graders.
I was thrilled to get this message, knowing that kids who have grown up in our church are grasping the concept of serving and are excited to be able to help. They are developing a life-long habit of serving God and putting others’ needs first.
I’m so grateful to God for His blessing on our church and thankful to all those who work so hard to provide kids in our community with a fun place were they can discover how amazing God is!
What about you? Where have you seen God at work lately? Share your “yea Gods” by leaving a comment below.
Last week I introduced a few tips for how keep energetic kids engaged in your small group. Since this is such an important topic and since there are so many great ideas, I’m continuing with that topic this week.
One of the best ways to keep energetic kids engaged in your small group is to give them a job to do. You could ask them to pass out papers, collect the pencils, throw away the trash, put the Bibles away, or any number of other things. By offering them an opportunity to be your helper, they get an opportunity to burn off extra energy they have in a valuable way. They get positive strokes for helping and feel like they are able to contribute to the group in meaningful ways.
Years ago when I was helping with the Kindergarten group in our church, I used this technique with an energetic, unfocused boy in my group. He became my assistant every week. He started showing up early to help me set up the tables and he stayed late to clean up. As he grew up, he would always save a spot for me next to him during the singing time of our Wednesday night program. We looked forward to connecting each Wednesday, even for just a few minutes.
When he was in 7th grade, I became our youth director. He was right there beside me, volunteering to help me. He joined our leadership team and was the first person to arrive for every meeting and the last person to leave. Our youth group grew and many teens came to know Jesus, largely because he invited his friends. He loved church and was extremely invested in the youth group. I trace his involvement in our youth ministry back to the opportunities he had to help in Kindergarten.
You never know what God has planned for the energetic kids in your group. Give them a chance to serve and then step back and watch what God does. In twenty years, they just might be involved in ministry and cite you as their inspiration!